Easter day was joyful in our home and I was feeling good too and spent most of the day up in my chair. We were laughing and joking and being very silly as usual with my brothers and sisters.
But....then it happened. That night as I went to sleep with peace, I had a dream and not a good one! I was back in Ukraine and the caregivers were saying to me, "Your family doesn't want you anymore. You aren't fun. Everyone talks bad about you! You have betrayed us by telling them about us. You didn't tell the truth!" In the dream I was arguing back with them, but when I woke up my mind was no longer peaceful and happy as it had been just the day before!
As I woke up I also noticed I felt extra sore in all of my muscles and I couldn't see clearly. It was blurry and I wondered if I was going blind! I felt a fight inside of me, as if everything is against me.
I began praying and asking God what's happening. God told me to look up and find what's good. I thought about it and realized we become blind when we stop looking at Jesus. I just kept hearing to make my focus on him. Even if I'm in pain, I know so many others are hurting too. It's not just me. It's pain we all feel at times. After a short while I could see like normal again.
God kept speaking to my heart and I heard, "When Satan tells you no one cares about you, THAT is exactly how you can know I care about you." Wow. I just kept thinking about this and I began to realize that even when I can't know things - maybe I can. For example, I can feel the prayers of my friends even when they don't tell me they are praying.
I just wanted so much to share this with those out there who feel like giving up right now because everything feels like a fight, like it's just too hard. I want you to know I understand that feeling but even more, God knows what's going on with you right now. I am praying for you to feel hope.
With God all things are possible.
Matthew 19:26
Love is in the Light,
Lucia
