I want to say hello to everyone because it has been a long time. Today I found out some sad news that my birth grandma passed away. It has me thinking about death and life and suffering.
I want to make everything right. I want to take away suffering. I can feel Satan try to take my joy away. I even want to get angry.
I fight him with my prayers and I use my words that I know are true and still sometimes it just hurts.
I wish I can do more. I wish I could help more. When kids tell me they feel sorry for me because I am in a wheelchair, I tell them this is part of God's story. Sometimes I wish it didn't have to be, because I can picture myself doing so much more. I really don't want anyone to feel sorry when they are with me, but to feel Jesus when they are with me.
No matter what, it's not my strength, it has to be God's strength. His power breaks wrong thoughts that want me stuck. I understand I need to stay close to God no matter what.
I think I should share that today when my mom gave me the hard news about my grandmother, she talked to me too about the bible verse God showed her this morning in prayer. It is:
Now we see but a poor reflection, as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 1 Corinthians 13:12
Amazingly, today in the mail arrived a new book she bought for me and she opened it after we discussed this verse. The book is called, Why Do People Suffer? by James Jones. As she reads to me the first verse she comes to is once again 1 Corinthians 13:12! I believe he really wanted me to hear this today.
For parents: Believe God is doing a good work in your child. There may be things today you cannot see and understand why, but one day you will. I know it's especially hard when your children can't or don't speak to you about their problems, but know that God knows all the details. He will lead you in the right time, to know what is best to do.
Love is in the light,
Lucia
