He Deals With Me

        Yesterday I was in my room praying and doing bible time.  I felt like God wanted me to deal with my heart so I asked him what.  He reminded me of something one of the caregivers said to me about a girl who was blind. I knew this lady believed in Jesus and acted nice.  She even kissed me.    
        One day I asked for medicine and she began hitting me over and over with the heel of her shoe. She turned me over and got my back when she was done with my legs. It was so hard to breathe.  Another caregiver told her to stop but she said, "If I do this to my kids at home I am able to do it here." 
    Later when she came to feed me I said I'm not feeling like eating.  She turned to the blind girl and I saw her shove the food in her mouth so much she was choking.  I said, "If you say you believe in God, stop shoving food in her mouth."
    She looked at me and said, "You don't tell me what to do. Why do you want to save this girl who hurts you?  She talks about you behind your back."
    I told her that I loved this girl.  I loved her because I felt she has never done anything.  At the same time I really believed this woman when she said the blind girl talked bad about me.  And that was what God really wanted to deal with me about.  From that moment on I didn't talk to the blind girl ever again. 
     And so yesterday in my room my heart was hurting so badly because I judged this girl who had done nothing to me.  I even said to myself, "I was dumb. I should have known better."  I cried for her and I had so many tears for her.  When I was done I said, "Thank you God for telling me I wasn't right. Thank you for correcting me."  I just felt so many thank you's to God after that.

   Today it may be hard to read some of this but you really need to know this because you or your kids might be hurting too.  The hurt makes you want to go away and never come back.  God really loves us and we need to think about what's good.  Even though I remembered something bad, I can feel better because now I know who God made me be. 

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11

From Mom:  It is incredibly humbling to be the writer of her words.  Often times, like today, I am hearing things for the first time. I know when she is about to ask me to sit down though.  Her eyes get big and she can almost hardly wait to share what God places on her heart.  When she speaks her whole body moves and when we are finished she is so very tired but she is fulfilled and at peace.  Today at school everyone was to introduce themselves and say something.  She said she ministers to families who adopt.  I love that.