Thursday, January 7, 2016
What We Think On Grows
My days in the institution were slow and painful. I thought everyday was sure to be the last. When I asked for help, no one listened. One day I even asked the caregiver to kill me by overdose because the hopelessness was unbearable. I was not always hopeful as I am now. The more I thought about my pain, the more I thought of death.
When I was transferred before my parents came for me, new caregivers were in charge and they told me I wasn't bad. I began to think that maybe I was a good person. I noticed my days were happier and I looked for good things in my days too. I was still in pain. My body wasn't getting better, but the people around me helped me to see differently.
Be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. Ephesians 6:10-11
Now that I am here in my new home, I am beginning to see what God is doing with all of those things that happened before. I still have hard days but it is different now. I know when bad thoughts come at me to pray. Prayer has been the most important thing I've learned. My prayers are like giving my bad days away to God to have and he gives back to me His peace. I learned that I can't always change the things to be the way I want it to be but I can still be enjoying God until He changes the situation. I have decided I am going to enjoy life no matter what because I spent too many years miserable. God did not want me to be miserable. He wanted me happy and I make the devil mad when I am happy.
Adoptive moms and dads, keep loving your children no matter what your children do to you. They only behave how they feel about themselves. Satan tells them many lies. Keep speaking the truth to them. I understand this. I have a brother and sister who also struggle with this. Keep praying for their hearts to become hungry for God because only God can change people.
Love is in the Light,
Lucia
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Great post. That last paragraph was especially what I needed to hear since we just adopted a girl. Tell Lucia thank you!
ReplyDeleteLucia there is wisdom in your eyes. Thank you for being obedient to God's call of ministry by way of your personal blog. I pray that as you share your life experiences to help those of us who could in no way understand your pain, physical, mental and emotional, that you will heal in the same way you are sharing. I look forward to hearing more from the Heart of Lucia! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for your openness Lucia! I thank God for all He is doing in your heart!! You are shining His light.
ReplyDelete"My prayers are like giving my bad days away to God to have and he gives back to me His peace."
ReplyDeleteWow. I love that!! What a glorious gift from our heavenly father!!